kabob27

25 Things

2009-02-15T19:46:30Z

I'm not much for memes and stuff like that. But once in a great while something will come along that seems worth the time. There is a 25 Things deal going around Facebook and I've read so many interesting and candid entries that I wanted to do my own. I posted this up on FB, but thought it would be cool to put this up here too.

Here ya go!

1. I'm thankful that punk rock happened to me. I was never a 'punk' per se, but I enjoy the music and the lessons and aesthetics of the sound taught me a lot. One of my teachers in high school would always lay out K.I.S.S. to us; Keep it Simple, Stupid. I adore the simplicity of punk. It's raw, it's forward with its intent, and doesn't get caught up in wankery over itself. All things of any worth in this world are couched in the simple. I'm wary of anything that's overly complex. It usually just means it's hiding behind itself. So much we encounter obfuscates the core with useless, distracting bells and whistles. The other thing that punk taught me is that revolution is good.

2. We need a revolution. This last year or so has been a real crisis of faith in humanity for me. I'm more and more disgusted with our culture and direction every day. The path we are on is untenable. Maybe we're due for a good old-fashioned revolution. I don't know. I hope so. It seems though that we are ok with 'just happy enough' to not do anything about where we are. Too many people are entrenched, or are fooled into thinking they are, too probably make anything happen. I'm not expecting anything, and have decided I just need to do for myself. I fully expect to retire from modern life and take up goat herding or some such.

3. I love lying to strangers for fun. But only if there are friends with me that I can make laugh and that know better. I love making up ridiculous professions when someone asks what I do, or convincing the kid behind the counter that I have some crazy rare disease. I once had this girl feeling very sorry for me as I explained that I used to have these terrible seizures whenever I played Duck Hunt. I'd play for about 15 minutes then fall to the ground writhing. But even though I knew what I was in for, I loved the game so much that I just kept going back to it. Hilarious.
All of this is done for the benefit of those with me and when it works.. oh, man is it awesome.

4. I hate lying to the people I love. There have been times in my life when this is just my modus operandi. Shame of an act (or more accurately shame of inaction) led me to find no other solution than to lie. Because you know, it's impossible anyone will ever find out..... heh. I'm clearly terrible at the long, sustained lie because I've always been found out. And I'm quite grateful for this. Looking back it seems so ridiculous. And my stance has flipped completely on this without even my knowing it. I was told a while back that when you're caught in an act you should deny everything. I was aghast. My argument was that "you've been caught. The gig is up. Fess up." Which, whether you're innocent or guilty, is just a much cleaner way of dealing with things. Lying hard work. I never want to work that hard again.

5. Fashion has always been a tricky thing for me. I didn't start actually caring until after high school, and then had no foundation to build on. I went through the thrift store faze like everyone else and settled into a decent look I was happy with. Some choppy waters for a while after that when I realized I was totally skeezed out by wearing other people's tossed out trousers. I started to dress like an actual adult for some time while I was in Olympia and needed to wear a tie every day. For the last 5 or so years I've been able to wear whatever I want and it's dangerous. I don't trust my own taste, or didn't for a long time. So what I would do is just shop at Macy's and Nordstrom because I knew they wouldn't let me down. I'm more satisfied with my own ability now, but I still find myself being drawn to something that no human should be wearing. I do think I'd look great in a Nehru Jacket though.

6. I'm completely and hopelessly addicted to Blistex. I cannot go without it. If my lips start to feel dry and I've run out of Blistex it's ALL I can think about until I get some. A couple of years ago we were driving over the mountains to go down the river and we were on the road before I realized I didn't have any with me. I was a wreck, thinking about the hour or so I would have to wait to get that sweet, sweet Blistex. Holy crap.

7. I do not get jealous easily. I'm not impressed by your iphone, or your big house, or your fancy kitchen equipment, or your sporty little car. The only thing I really get jealous over is height. I'm 5'10" and that feels like such an injustice to me it's unbelievable. So when I see a guy a few inches taller than me an immediate hatred washes over me. I may find out later you're a cool guy, then I forgive you your personal attack, but until then, grrr....

8. That said, I'm fairly happy with my looks. I'm not ugly by any means. I really could've done a lot worse. Never do I look in the mirror and think "Ugh, wtf, man??" and I sometimes even have those "Hey there, handsome" days. A shave and the right earth-tones and I'm a good looking guy!

9. I've never played an MMMMMORPG. Blech. Just blech. These all look so wholy unfun to me. I've never seen anyone do anything interesting. They just run. Going from place to place. Accomplishing nothing. Kills me. I'll never see the appeal in these things. Although I'm not much of a video gamer at all any way. I sequester myself for two weeks whenever a new FF comes out, but that's the only time I ever play any games. So about two weeks every two years? Sounds about right.

10. I'm good for once a day usually.

11. I like to cook and like to think I'm decent at it. I HATE doing dishes though. This actually keeps me from cooking as much as I would like to. If I could just throw out all my dishes after each use, I would. If I were dating that imaginary human that liked doing dishes, that would be great too. But the person that enjoys doing dishes has never existed, so...

12. Keeping with my loathing of doing the dishes, I'm very unhappy about anything that smacks of maintenance. I resent anything that I HAVE TO do. Shaving is at the top of this list. My hatred of this activity reaches irrational heights. It's about 90% of the reason I keep the beard. It lets me go longer without shaving and not look like a hobo. I curse about the injustice of having to shave every few days. Never do I feel more put out than when I know I have to get up and shave. I actually want to die on those days.

13. I've always thought that the people I'm closest with are all smarter than me. I'm constantly surprised by the depth of knowledge and wit of my few closest friends. Maybe this means I'm just as smart as them, because why would they all hang out with 'that idiot,' but I'm not so sure it does. I saw this trend while in college and feel like it's continued til today. I guess I just think it's awesome that all my good friends are so wicked smart.

14. I came down with pleurisy last winter and boy was it a bitch. You're thinking, "Pleurisy? I've heard that but I have no idea what it is. Didn't I read about it in some Dostoevsky book?" Yes. It's this crazy literary condition that no one after 1853 has ever had. Until last winter... People used to die from it; now you just take dump trucks full of advil and it will “go away on it's own." I can still feel it in my right lung sometimes. If it ever comes back like it did before I'm not sure what I'll do. That was a miserable month or so.

15. Never trust anyone who dislikes watermelon. If they're just neutral on it, then that's fine. But if they actively dislike watermelon, there is something wrong with them. They are not to be trusted.

16. I’m really good at being single. I don’t have that “OMG, I’m a useless human if I’m not with someone!” gene. Being single isn’t some source of shame or humiliation. I’m confident in my ability to get dates or have fun, so I’m not always in this panic to ‘land a woman.’ I’ve seen too many of my friends settle. It’s disturbing and sad.

17. I can watch ducks and pigeons walk for hours. Nothing is funnier than a bird walking.

18. Here is a list of some of my musical weaknesses- Crunchy and/or jangly guitar, stopping in the middle of the song, trumpets, anything twee, a clever rhyme, harmonica, odd time signatures, banjo, shack rock, and I love a good fade in.

19. I’ve only been to one funeral and it was for someone I didn’t even know. An ex-girlfriend at the time (and still ex-. Obv) asked me to go with her. I’ve had a few close family members pass, but either I was too young, or there wasn’t a proper funeral.

20. I have a strange relationship with most of my family. My sister is the only person I’m related to that I feel any kind of sameness with. Her and I get along really well. I have much love for my family, but wow am I different from them. Conversations usually span cringing, teeth-grinding difficult to numbingly boring.

21. Speaking of strange relationships… I can’t figure out where I am on tomatoes. I know I don’t like them in chunks or slices or whole. I love tomato sauce and tomato soup and tomato katsup. After some 28 years I finally decided salsa is awesome. But not too chunky. I like it thin and hot. Like my women! Hey-o!

22. My sternum pops every time I sneeze. And it freaks me out every time. If I stretch just right I can make it happen also. But I’m not about that.

23. One of the things that bothers me the most is when I’m getting off the bus and that person ahead of me waited until they were right next to the cash box to dig around their wallet/purse for the fare. I want to actually kill them. You know you’re getting off the bus. You know how much you have to pay. Is it really that difficult to have it ready before you walk up there? Or even prepare it while you’re walking?

24. I actually really enjoy my job. But it’s sad to me in a way how meaningless it is in the scope of things. I sell Magic cards, you program computers, this guy fixes cars, that guy is a food critic, she’s a claims adjuster, he’s in HR. And all these jobs are useless. How can the Magic dealer and the programmer and the food critic justify their jobs when we can’t figure out famine, genocide, etc. and so on. It’s depressing.

25. I had my MMR shots and I'm not autistic. Wow!!!

Repo!

2008-12-11T05:43:36Z

Just got back.

All ya'll that liked this steaming pile have some serious explaining to do.

If the movie just once, ONCE winked at us; let us know it's in on the joke, then I'd be fine with it. But it was too busy spitting up lines written by a 13-year old.

Puke.

kabob27 @ 2008-11-05T08:00:00

2008-11-05T16:01:17Z

Got there!

Birthday Bash on Saturday.

2008-08-12T06:10:21Z

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/event.php?eid=29863774601#wall_posts

Tony and I share a birthday and for a couple of years now we've celebrated it together. He's turning 30 this year, so we're gonna do it up big!

Go to Facebook for more information.

Please come!!

The last couple of weeks have been balls

2007-12-18T08:06:20Z

I've been feeling funky for a couple of weeks now with bad times and news coming in from all directions. And now for the last straw, I just saw that The Crocodile Cafe is closed. Fucking really? Ugh.

This month has been a total suck-fest.

For Aaron

2007-01-13T17:46:24Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyXFN4ocN_o

Thirty-second slice of heaven. I remember it being longer though.

Tuesday

2006-08-23T05:10:03Z

Me- (to the boss) Wanna talk about Saturday?
Him- Nope.
Me- Ok.
Him- (smiling) Don't do it again.
Me- Oh no.

That's it. That's what happened. Wow.

Saturday morning. or 'Why I Should be Fired After My Fourth Day'

2006-08-20T18:57:33Z

I wake up at 10. I have to open the store at 11. I want to die. I lay in front of the toilet for a while, but nothing happens. I can't get myself to do anything so I lay down in the living room and hope to die. I wake up at 12 and realize I HAVE to get the store open. I call a cab and put on some clothes. Soon after Eric, the owner, calls.

Me- (pick up the phone) I'll be there in 20 min.
Him- Oh, you aren't there?
Me- No.
Him- Hm, that's bad. The alarm went off.

OH FUCK!

I finally get in, disarm the alarm walk up to the front and Daisuke (another employee) is there. He just got there too, but came in the front door, which was unlocked. So I call Eric and explain that the front door was unlocked. And who was the last person to leave last night? Well me obviously.

When I left on Friday I left with Warren and I fucked around with that door for 5 solid minutes. It's an impossible door. But I was certain that I'd locked it. Went around locked up everything else, set the alarm (which i managed to door correctly, thank god) and that was it.

At about noon on Sat, some customer came in, saw no one, heard the alarm and left. Strangely, these people came back later and bought some Pokemon cards.

Everything was there, nothing missing.

So on my fourth day I leave $90485709582349 worth of product available overnight and then come in 1 1/2 hours late the next day. I really shouldn't have a job. Shockingly, Eric wasn't even mad. He was really cool about it.. just like 'yeah, this is what i do with that door' .. so on. Wow.

I've never fucked up that bad at a job before. Just amazing. When I left on Saturday I beyond meticulous closing up. I suspect that will never change.

Friday night.

2006-08-20T18:38:52Z

In order-

Screwdriver
Duck Fart
Long Island
Margarita
Shot of Jaeger
Mojito

I'm pretty certain there is something after that, but...

Change in plans

2006-08-15T23:17:25Z

Well instead of hanging my balls out to get punched by economics I took a job with these clowns... cardhaus.com I'll be running their retail store. I'm pretty excited about it; I'll be organizing the events and so on, which I really loved doing.

It's funny, they wanted to hire me years ago, but I was in the middle of self-destructing, so I never went with them.

I wasn't sure about what I wanted to do this time. When Jon called it quits we worked out a deal where I would get stuff and start on my own. But soon I heard that these guys were sniffing around, asking Jon questions about me. And I was unsure about starting a small business. "blah blah percentage of new... one year... blah.." you know.

This is really the right move. Most everyone I talked with said that this seems like a smarter play. I was starting a business in an emergency... which is basically beyond retarded. I get to cultivate a community that we´ve never really had. Dental. Much more money. So on, so on.

I´m a little sad I won´t have that 'thing' I can call my own, but there'll be time for that I guess. This is the safe move. And it's rife with opportunities in its own way.

Joke

2006-08-15T22:50:32Z

I don't know how easy it is to get into one, but I think it'd be awesome hilarious to put a small dead animal into someone's hot water tank. LOL.. Can you imagine?

Help me.

2006-07-12T06:18:34Z

What should I name my new online Magic card selling business?

Whatever the hell that all means.

2006-07-08T00:07:40Z

!

2006-07-08T00:03:13Z

Oh, Fuck me... Shit's goin' down. Could be mega-awesome or life-wreckingly bad. I'm hoping for the former.

I washed my ipod...

2006-05-16T01:37:07Z

...in the washing machine. I plugged it in to the comp and it started charging so I thought that maybe apple had created the most amazing machine ever. But it wasn't to be. The pod is dead.

kabob27 @ 2006-05-12T19:08:00

2006-05-13T02:11:17Z

16 hours ago I was drunk and lost in Venice and I needed to get to the hotel (not knowing where it was or its name was a problem), get my stuff, and make it to my flight in 3 hours.

I'm home.

No foolin´this time.

2006-04-10T01:14:41Z

Jon (the boss)- Hey, you wanna go to Italy?

Me- *giving the "what are you retarded?" look* - Obviously.

Jon- Yeah. I'm sending you to Italy next month.

Me- Fuckin' A.

So I'll be flying into Milan on the 5th. I'll sell some magical cards on the 6th. Then I'm going to go over to Venice and hang out there until I come home on the 12th. I wish I could stay longer, but there's lots to do here and I really can't stay much longer than that.

I'm super pumped. Never been to Italy. All I want to do is lay on a beach for a week. Really. I'm kind of a bad (good?) tourist; I don't feel the need to hit up all the famous sites and do the photos and postcards and whatever. I'm on vacation. I just want to relax and see things or not see things at my leisure.

Obviously the most important part is getting another stamp in my passport. AH! I just wanna fill that bastard up!

I have a little time in Amsterdam on the way home just like I did when coming back from Spain. It's real easy to get into town from the airport so I'll be hitting up those feet-destroying cobblestones again for a few hours.

So. Yep. Italy! Travelling! Yeah!

Suckas!

2006-04-02T05:34:28Z

Well that was fun.

Next month.

2006-04-01T07:14:58Z

I decided to move to Taiwan next month. Probably the last week of the month. I gave my notice to Jon, and I'm getting everything else all settled. I'm looking forward to this. Vida is very excited. She found me an apartment in a good part of town. Sucks that I'm going in the spring and it's already hot now... So, that. Now to study some Chinese.

kabob27 @ 2006-02-06T22:24:00

2006-02-07T06:26:35Z

The best (and worst?) part of this weekend was the box of sweedish fish I bought for $5 on the way to *shudder* Spokane. Jeez, there is some serious crack in these bitches. I have to toss the box across the room, because if I don't I'll have one or two in my mouth perpetually until my stomach just fails. Oh god... soooooo good...

This weekend.

2006-02-06T01:39:45Z

Fuck Spokane.

And fuck faith's fetters.

Taiwan rules. You should go.

2005-07-07T22:28:31Z

I had the best time in Taiwan. That place is amazing. I'm going to put together a small site with pictures and funny/cool stories soon. Anyway, I had a great time and would encourage any and everyone to go.

Happy Veterans Day, Aaron!

2004-11-12T02:55:37Z

Cherry pie? Nope!

Turn-ons include long walks on the beach, piña coladas, making love at midnight, and caressing slime mold.

You have no idea how long I searched for a picture of her in her best role ever.

Happy Birthday!

I'm longing for my favorite Jew.

2004-11-06T05:47:31Z

Gah, I wish you could be up here for this...

http://www.livejournal.com/community/seattle/2127267.html#cutid1

My love for The Muppets know no bounds and mix it with our favorite pasttime from '96-'97 and Bam!

I love trawling through LJ.

2004-11-05T07:32:01Z

Look what I just found. Girls are funny. There is comedy gold burried in this post.

i'm sorta mean. danielle called me today. first she called my house from her cell phone and i couldn't even hear her cuz she was calling from her cell so i just hung up. o and before that she texted me but i 'pretended' like i didnt see it. so then she calls my cell and i have like nooo minutes left only about like 3 bucks so i just hung up lol. about a half an hour later she calls my house from the theater and asks me what day im doing my birthday stuff on. i tell her friday. which is the night that just the 4 of us are going out to dinner. saturday is the night that the real action happens. but i don't want her to be there. i don't want her to be there on friday either but i had to tell her something. she was just like ok ill be sure to schedule that off and i was just like ok and then she was liek ok bye. ok?

shes just so goddamn annoying i can't stand her. she thinks cuz she went out and bought the same cell phone as me that shes sooo fuckin cool and she sits there and whips it out at every chance she gets. to check the time, to check her messages, to text someone, etc etc. it was seriously so insanely annoying i actually timed her on friday and she would take out her cell, check the time, put it back in her purse, AND 16 FUCKIN SECONDS LATER pull it out again and mutter "i keep having to check the time!!" ::gigglegiggle:. omg i want to shoot her. i seriously can't stand her. its so weird cuz we were SUCH good friends at this same time last year and now i can't even stand to be in the same room with her let alone talk to her.

i just don't consider her even a friend anymore. she doesn't act like a friend. shes so freakin FAKE its insane. if we're really such good friends why does she have to put on a front so much. its like her lifelong quest to get everyone to like her and to have everyone know her business and so she blabs it to everyone that is listeneing and even those who are not. it drives me crazy sitting in french class with her while she sits here yelling out random things that nobody fuckin cares about shes just trying to make herself look cool. she doesn't realize that it actually portays her negatively. its gotten to the point where im so embarrased for her and i don't even want to admit to anyone that shes actually my friend.

she copies me beyond belief. she copied me about college and was fully prepared to follow me wherever i went until i wised up and realized that i cant even TALK about the future with her becuase she takes my dreams and turns them into her own. what kind of a friendship is that when u cant even tell ur "BEST FRIEND" things in fear that she'll coppy you. i cant stand it. i hate unorigianl people and she is the most unoriganl person i know. she has this idea in her head of what its like to be perfect and popular and cute and she strives for that. if she would just BE HERSELF it would be SO MUCH BETTER. even if shes non of those things who the fuck cares. who said that was COOL. be urself damnit why do u want to be someone else? whats the point? are u ever going to be happy? she has serious problems and im just sick of being accociated with them.

i keep thinking o yea well when i go off to western i wont have to worr about it anymore. but then i rememebr that im going to cancun with her. for a week. i don't know HOW im going to stand it. i just have to make the best out of MY vacation and do what I want to do. and if she wants to follow me whatever. meghan and i will have a blast being our crazy fun selves. danielle will contine to be my shadow. sad.
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